George Bush Calls Up Barack Obama

Bush: Hey mate! How’re ya doin?
Obama: Oh very well sir. How are you?
Bush: Oh I’m just chillin..so hows life Mr. President? *laughs*
Obama: Oh very well sir, I’m on the path of change.
Bush: Yeah whatever. So you saw that Khan flick?
Obama: Oh yes sir. This new Osama tape is a classic!
Bush: No no I’m talking about this movie, what is it called Khan my name or something?
Obama: Is it a film on Islam?
Bush: No not really. It’s about..well an awful lot of things.
Obama: I’m gonna have to see it. Sick of these Osama videos I have to watch.
Bush: Yeah! I heard they blocked YouTube on your network.
Obama: It’s killing me sir. So what’s with this movie?
Bush: Well it’s pretty nice. This guy wants to meet the US prez and shit.
Obama: I heard Bollywood is all about hanky panky stuff.
Bush: They have some nice looking women there.
Obama: Oh no sir I’ve stopped looking at women after the you-know-what incident.
Bush: Yeah watch out! You don’t wanna do a Clinton here.
Obama: *laughs*
Bush: You know they really messed up my duplicate in this Khan flick.
Obama: Sir you want me to ban it?
Bush: No no it’s fine. In fact your duplicate is more awful than mine.
Obama: Oh well I don’t mind sir. Who watches these flicks anyway?
Bush: Yeah I heard they got good publicity back in India.
Obama: May be. Sir I gotta get back to memorizing my speeches.
Bush: Cool. I gotta get back to…well who should I call now?
Obama: *hangs up*

Facebook calls up Orkut, again!

	Hey there buddy!
	Namaste, Namaskaram, Vanacumm…uhhh Mmmm…
	OK! OK! I get it!
	Ah! Just lost in translation!
	Yeah whatever! So how are things going dude?
	Pretty cool! Hey you know we got some cool themes!
	Those make you look like a cheap hooker dude. Really!
	What do you know about good looks?! Huh!
	Actually I just had a cosmetic surgery.
	You look like shit now!
	No. I’ve become more accessible and easy to use!
	Crap! I still get stuck while navigating…
	That’s mainly due to IQ problems.
	What? What is that?
	Forget it. So how are the apps coming along?
	Really cool! We have better apps than you do!
	Is that so? I’ve heard you got some miserable apps there.
	Where? Ah! Well they do get a bit buggy at times…
	You got problems mate! So hows India getting along?
	Too hot…too damn hot here man!
	Grab a drink mate. I gotta get back to work now!
	Yeah….I should also get back to work. Oh wait…
	Damn! Hey dude…you still there? My server just crashed…again…we could chat for a while…my Indiangineers are trying to work it out……dude?

funny text chat

8 Invisible Buddy Detectors – Detect Who is Invisible in Buddies List

If you are annoyed by your yahoo buddies who play hide and seek sometimes then here are few Yahoo Invisible scanners and detectors which will enable you to scan which of your buddy is pretending to be invisible but is actually online.

Use any of the websites below to detect invisible buddies of yahoo.
http://www.yahootracer.com
http://detectinvisible.com
http://www.imvisible.info
http://www.ydetector.com
http://www.invisible-scanner.com
http://www.invisible.ir
http://www.statusdetect.com
http://www.yahdetector.com/invisible-scanner.html

Moniter Turn Off Shortcut

Why Press Button To Turn Off Your Moniter? Create Moniter Turn Off Shortcut Button right at your desktop to do the task. On Mouse Move or pressing any key (any key means any one of buttons at your keyboard) monitor will be back to life. You have to just follow the instructions.

1. Download Mointeroff.rar at your desktop and extract MonOff.exe from that at desktop.
2. Cut MonOff.exe and past it in C:WINDOWS in the windows folder of C drive of your computer.
3. Return at desktop. Right Click -> New -> Shortcut
4. At the text box where it asks type the location of the item write C:WINDOWSMonOff.exe or browse that file in C->windows and Click next.
5. Name the shortcut something like Turn Off Moniter and click finish.
6. You are done.
7. Now you can change the icon of this button by Right Click shortcut -> Properties -> Change Icon. Select icon and click OK.

Create Not Responding Programs Killer

While using Microsoft Windows its not unusual for any program / software go Not Responding. Next thing you have to do is to wait for it to respond but the fact is, it never goes responsive again and you have to terminate that program. You have to press Ctrl+Alt+Delete for Windows Task Manager and go to applications or processes and right click > end task that program to terminate it. Sometimes more then just one program can appear not responding at the same time. To save time you can create a batch file using only notepad for killing all the not responding programs at once. Here it is how:

Open notepad and type in the following code.

@echo off
taskkill.exe /f /fi "status eq not responding"
exit

Save it and give it a name something like, terminator.bat
Preferably type "terminator.bat" with quotes to avoid saving it as text file.
There you go.
Now if any program goes unresponsive just double click that file which will search the not responding program and terminate it immediately for you.

problems with My New Computer-letter to bill gates (joke)

A newbie got his first computer but after some days he wrote a letter to Bill gates as beneath:

Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no ’stop’ button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any ‘re-scooter’ is available in system? I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ‘find’ button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows ‘MY Computer’: when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says ‘MY Pictures’ but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is ‘MICROSOFT OFFICE’ what about ‘MICROSOFT HOME’ since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided ‘My Recent Documents’. When you will provide ‘My Past Documents’?

9. You provide ‘My Network Places’. For God sake please do not provide ‘My Secret Places’. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards
ABC Name

Last one to Mr Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Do It Alternatively – PC Tricks

Ever faced any situation when you wanted to copy something and paste it without letting any other know nearby. I mean every PC user knows what is Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V or right click-copy-paste. Try following:

Alternative Commands For Copy Paste

Copy Command : Ctrl+Insert
Past Command : Shift+Insert
With Ctrl and Shift, Insert does the same task for you.

Alternative For Opening Different Locations in Explorer

Pressing 'windows key'+E takes us to the "My Computer" Location. We all know. There is also a very simple way to do this kind of stuff.

You will have to go to Run Command Prompt and type following.
.
..
...
Single dot, double dot and triple dot.
Yes.

Type . and hit enter
C:Documents and SettingsAdministrator will be opened

Type .. and hit enter
C:Documents and Settings will be opened

Type ... and hit enter
My computer will be opened

Spice Up Gmail With Colorful Themes

Gmail fans have been building unofficial extensions to spice up their in-boxes for a while, but up till now themes haven't been an integral part of Gmail. They wanted to go beyond simple color customization, so out of the 30 odd themes they launching some days ago, there's a shiny theme with chrome styling, another one that turns your inbox into a retro notepad, nature themes that change scenery over time, weather driven themes that can rain on your mailbox (my GOD!!! Have you witnessed such luxurious effects with any mailing service?), and fun characters to keep you in good company (wow).

There's even an old school ascii theme (Terminal) which was the result of a bet between two engineers -- it's not exactly practical, but it's great for testing out your geek cred. Gmail's default look is now crisper and cleaner -- you might notice a few colors and pixels shifted around here and there.

Find out more at Gmail Blog

http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/spice-up-your-inbox-with-colors-and.html

Access Orkut Where It Is Blocked

 In offices, colleges, universities and at some other restricted places, social networking websites could be blocked by admin. Where is the fun if you can not use Orkut or any other social network from your office or college? Sometimes it is necessary to quick post something and let your circle of friends know what you are up to or what you have just witnessed or even what is the plan for this evening. If your network admin has blocked Orkut then there is an easy way to access Orkut by an alternative URL.

Simply go to the images.orkut.com and you will be able to open Orkut website even it was blocked by admin.

The other way is to use some proxy service.
You can use http://www.proxut.com.

I have mentioned some proxy services over here. You can also use any proxy software for this purpose.

Mount Hira, Learn Quran, Ayatul Kursi, Surah Yasin

Mount Hira, Learn Quran, Ayatul Kursi, Surah Yasin

ASSALAM ALIKUM BROTHERS IN ISLAM

RAMZAN KAREEM

Dua’s in Ramzan

 

 

  Rozay ki niyyat (Roza rakhne ki Dua):-

 

“Navaytu an asuma ghadan lillaahi ta-ala minn saomi ramazana”. (or) “Navaytu bisaomi ghadin.”

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Dua-E-Iftaar (Roza kholnay ki Dua):-

 

“Allaah-humma laka sumtu wa bika aamantu wa-alaika tawakkal tu wa-aala rizkhika aftartu, fatakhab-bal minni. ”

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Read this Dua during Sahar (Sehri) Time:-

 

“Ya waasi-al fazli wa yaa waasi-al maghfirati igh-firlana.”

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Read this Dua’ from 1^st Ramzan to 10^th Ramzan (daily):-

 

“Allaah-hummar hamna yaa arharmar raahimeen.”

 

(Note:- 1^st to 10^th  Ramzan – Ramzan ke mahiney ka pehla Aashra “RAHMAT” ka hai)

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Read this Dua’ from 11^th Ramzan to 20^th Ramzan (daily):-

 

“Allaah-humagh firlana zunubana yaa rabbal-aalameen.”

 

(Note:- 11^th to 20^th Ramzan – Ramzan ke mahiney ka doosra Aashra “MAGHFIRAT” ka hai)

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Read this Dua from 21^st Ramzan to Last Ramzan (daily):-

 

“Allaahumma khina azaaban-naari wa-adkhilnal-jannata ma-al abraari yaa azeezu yaa ghaffaru.”

 

(Note:- 21^st to Last day of Ramzan – Ramzan ke mahiney ka teesra Aashra “Jahannam se azaadi” ka hai)

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Read this Dua in “Shab-E-Khadr” (for maximum no. of times):-

 

“Allaahumma in-naka afuvun tuhib-bul afva faah-fu anna yaa kareem.”

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Taravi ki Dua:-

 

Subhaanal-malikil-khuddus; subhaana zil-mulki wal-malakut; subhaana         zil-izzati wal-azmati wal-haibati wal-khudrati wal-kibriyaa-i wal-jabaroot; subhaanal-malikil-hayyil-lazi la yanaamu wala yamutu subbuhun khuddoosun; rab-buna wa rabbul mala-i-kati war-ruhi, allaahumma ajirna min-nan-naar,  yaa mujeeru, yaa mujeeru, yaa mujeeru.

 

RAMZAN Mubarak mein padhne ki Duaen:-

 

[Note:-Read DURUD-E-SHAREEF before and after reading these Dua(s)].

Sl. No. Dua Description Note 1   Ae ALLAH hamari zubaan par kalme tayyaba hamesha jaari rakh   AAMEEN 2   Ae ALLAH hamein kaamil imaan naseeb farma aur puri hidayat ata farma   AAMEEN 3   Ae ALLAH hamein puray ramzan ki niyamatein anwar wa barkat se malamaal farma   AAMEEN 4   Ae ALLAH hum par apni rahmat naazil farma, karam ki baarish farma aur rizzakh halaal ata farma   AAMEEN 5   Ae ALLAH hamein Deen-e-islam ke ehkaam par mukammal taor par amal karnewala banadey   AAMEEN 6   Ae ALLAH tu hamein apna mohtaaj bana; kisi ghair ka mohtaaj na bana.   AAMEEN 7   Ae ALLAH hamein Lailatul-Qadr naseeb farma   AAMEEN 8   Ae ALLAH hamein Hajj  makhbool wa mabroor naseeb farma.   AAMEEN 9   Ae ALLAH hamein jhooth, gheebat, baghz wa keena burayee wa jhagdey fasaad se door rakh.   AAMEEN 10   Ae ALLAH ham se tangdasti, khauf, ghabrahat aur kharz ke bojh ko door farma   AAMEEN 11   Ae ALLAH sagheera aur kabeera gunahon ko muaaf farma   AAMEEN 12   Ae ALLAH hum ko dajjaal ke fitne, shaitaan aur nafs ke shar se mehfooz rakh   AAMEEN 13   Ae ALLAH auraton ko parde ki puri puri pabandi karni ki taufeekh ata farma   AAMEEN 14   Ae ALLAH her chhoti, badi bimari se hamein aur kul momineen wa mominaat ko mehfooz rakh   AAMEEN 15   Ae ALLAH hamein takhve wa parhezgaari ata farma   AAMEEN 16   Ae ALLAH hamein Huzur-e-akram Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ke pyare tarikay par qayam rakh.   AAMEEN 17   Ae ALLAH hamein Huzur-e-akram Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ki sunnat par chalne ki taufeekh ata farma   AAMEEN 18   Ae ALLAH hamein qayamat ke din Huzur Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ke haath se jaam-e-kausar peena naseeb farma   AAMEEN 19   Ae ALLAH hamein qayamat ke din Huzur Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ki shifa-at naseeb farma   AAMEEN 20   Ae ALLAH tu apni mohabbat aur hamare aakha Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ki mohabbat hamare dilon mein dal de   AAMEEN 21   Ae ALLAH hamein maut ki sakhti say aur khabar ke azaab se bachaa   AAMEEN 22   Ae ALLAH  munkar-nakeer ke sawalaat ham par asaan farma     AAMEEN 23   Ae ALLAH khayamat ke roz hamein apna deedaar naseeb farma AAMEEN 24   Ae ALLAH hamein Jannatul-Firdaus mein jagah ata farma   AAMEEN 25   Ae ALLAH hamein khayamat ki garmi aur jahannam ki aag se mehfooz farma.   AAMEEN 26   Ae ALLAH hamein aur tamaam momineen wa mominaat ko hasr ki rusvayi say bachaa.   AAMEEN 27   Ae ALLAH Naam-e-Amaal hamare daahinay haath mein naseeb farma   AAMEEN 28   Ae ALLAH apne arsh ke saye mein jagah ata farma AAMEEN 29   Ae ALLAH pul-saraat par bijlee ki tarah guzarne ki taufeekh ata farma   AAMEEN 30   Ae ALLAH hamein dono jahan mein Rasul-e-Pak Sallal-laahu-ta-ala-alaihi-wassallam ka ghulaam bana ke rakh.   AAMEEN

 Aap sub ko Aanewala Maahe RAMZAAN bahot bahot Mubarak 

DUA KI GUZARISH.

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REGARDS&THANKS

K.M.MUFAKHAM ALI ANSARI.....

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